The teenage years are full of big changes and insecurities, many of which revolve around body image and self-esteem. Add in the constant connectivity and access to social media, and body image issues are even more prevalent. Many parents and caregivers struggle: How can I support my teen?

Self-esteem is a key factor in how teens (children and adults too!) feel about their bodies and themselves. Let’s explore how parents and caregivers can help children cultivate self-esteem from an early age. How can you help them build a positive body image foundation today, so they’re ready to face challenges and insecurities tomorrow?

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the way a person sees and values themselves. This concept is often confused with self-acceptance, which is the way someone neutrally embraces who they are. Self-esteem can be high (positive) or low (negative) and is influenced by several internal and external factors, including:

• Genetics
• Personality
• Experiences
• Appearance
• Behaviors and thoughts
• Performance
• Social approval
• Comparison to others

Decades of research have explored the impact of self-esteem on personal wellbeing. A more recent study from 2022 determined that “having high self-esteem has numerous positive consequences, including better social relationships, more success at school and work, better mental and physical health and less antisocial behavior.” This study also noted that it’s worth working to improve self-esteem because it is so beneficial to health and wellness!

The Relationship Between Self-Esteem and Body Image

Body image can really affect self-esteem, especially for adolescents and teenagers who are going through so many physical changes. As teens compare themselves to those around them, struggle with intrusive thoughts and have a hard time keeping up with their ever-changing appearance, they may develop a negative body image that hurts their self-esteem. 

“Teens are at that age where they naturally have lower self-esteem because their body is changing, their hormones are changing and they’re learning about themselves,” explains Courtney Keener, Associate Clinical Director at Camber Mental Health in Hays, KS.

While the idea of a negative body image is most commonly associated with girls, it is no less common with boys and affects teens of all ages and demographic groups, making it important to address these issues with adolescents of all backgrounds and experiences.

The Impact of Social Media on Self-Esteem and Body Image

Adolescents, ages 10 to 19, are undergoing a highly sensitive period of brain development. It is during this time that risk-taking behaviors reach their peak, wellbeing fluctuates and mental health challenges such as depression typically emerge. Additionally, in early adolescence, their identities and sense of self-worth are still forming. During this time, brain development is especially susceptible to social pressures, peer opinions and comparison.

Social media has become a magnifying glass for comparison. It’s a challenge that teens don’t get a break from. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, up to 95% of youth ages 13 to 17 report using a social media platform, with more than one-third saying they use social media “almost constantly.” This access to social media has a chokehold on children and teens, giving them a rush of endorphins that can be extremely addictive.

On the body image side of social media, influencers are popular among teens today. Fitness and fashion influencers offer “easy” (but unrealistic!) weight loss methods and highlight reels of a difficult-to-achieve body standard. “Social media definitely encourages negative self-esteem and negative self-image, when you are constantly able to open your phone and on any platform compare yourself to someone else,” Keener observes.

Combating Cyber Comparison Culture: What Parents Can Do

This level of comparison and constant awareness of peers and influencers through social media has had a major impact on the mental health of teens today. According to a global study by the University of Waterloo, 55% of youth ages 10 to 17 express dissatisfaction with their bodies, a statistic that increases in conjunction with time spent on social media.

So how do parents help their children avoid content that inevitably leaves them insecure and unsure of themselves? Here are some tips to help your teen take much-needed breaks from the social media scroll:

• Set screen time limits: Establish a cut-off time after which children and teens need to take a break from their devices, or use a parental control app to block device use after a set amount of time.
• Limit social media accounts: Many social media platforms are available to teenagers today. But they don’t need to be active on all of them! Limit how many social media platforms they use and accounts they have. This allows you to more safely monitor and discuss their online activities.
• Be a safe space: By establishing healthy communication and being a safe, open, supportive resource to your child from a young age, you empower them to come to you when they need to talk something out. Keener explains, “It all goes back to building those relationships with your child as they grow, because it’ll be much easier to have open conversations when you come to them.”
• Build confidence: Support your child’s passions and interests, and focus on positive reinforcement rather than criticism.

Signs a Teen May Struggle with a Negative Body Image

Regardless of social media influence, teenagers in general are especially susceptible to a negative body image. But what’s the difference between normal growing pains and deep-seated body image struggles?

Being aware of your child or teen’s interests and personality will make it much easier as a caregiver to notice changes that indicate they may be struggling with negative body image. Here are some warning signs to look out for:

• Withdrawing from things they usually find enjoyable
• Spending a lot of time in their room
• Changing the way that they dress (i.e., hiding their body beneath very baggy clothing)
• Negative comments toward themselves
• Not wanting to attend events they were previously interested in
• Changes in diet and negative comments about food
• Changing their peer group or avoiding talking to and hanging out with friends

If you notice a young person exhibiting these symptoms, the first step is to try to have an open conversation with them about how they’re feeling. Keep in mind that they might not be ready to have this conversation, so don’t force it if they’re resistant. Pay close attention to the warning signs and focus on having a positive relationship in which you are a safe space for the youth. 

Creating a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive and safe environment for developing a healthy body image starts at a very young age, while children are still developing a sense of who they are and what they’re interested in. By keeping interactions positive and strengths-focused, you can help your child grow into a teen who feels comfortable being themselves and expressing their thoughts openly with you.

Here are a few specific ways you can create a healthy, supportive environment for your child from a young age:

Lead by Example

Strive to model a healthy mindset yourself when it comes to your appearance. As the saying goes, “We can’t be what we can’t see.” It’s challenging for children to develop healthy self-esteem when their role models don’t showcase this. As much as you can, try to avoid criticizing yourself or negative self-talk in front of your children, and take time for self-reflection to ensure you have positive self-esteem so you can illustrate that to your children. If you are struggling with self-esteem and body image yourself, model self-compassion and grace.

Focus on Strengths

Praise and compliment your child regularly, specifically regarding their interests or things they do well, rather than their appearance. Ask your child about their interests and encourage them to pursue things they enjoy doing. Affirm these strengths and find ways to empower them, like encouraging them to join clubs, community groups or sports teams that align with their interests and strengths. While it’s okay to compliment your child’s outward appearance, it’s crucial for your child to hear praise about who they are and know they’re celebrated for who they are, not what they look like.

Celebrate Success, Embrace Failure

Celebrate your child’s accomplishments and acknowledge that mistakes are okay. No one is good at everything, and your child needs to know that it’s okay to fail. This builds both resilience and confidence and helps your child establish a self-image that’s sturdy even when they struggle.

Don’t Be Overly Critical

Criticism sometimes comes from a well-meaning place. Most parents criticize because they want what is best for their child and want to steer them on the right path. But be careful, as too much criticism can be received as judgment and leave children feeling insecure. Especially avoid any criticism revolving around body image or food. Instead, use positive reinforcement, celebrating where your child is thriving and ensuring they understand that your love and acceptance is unconditional.

How KVC Missouri Can Help

When body image struggles get in the way of everyday life and result in depression, anxiety or thoughts of self-harm, professional care can offer hope and healing. At KVC Missouri, we offer multiple services to help children and their parents feel more equipped to handle body image difficulties and build up positive self-image.

Here are some KVC Missouri resources to help you address body image and self-esteem challenges:

• Explore KVC’s Parenting Tips series for insights on how to create a safe space for your child or youth.
• Fill out this free assessment to determine if your child could benefit from mental health treatment.
• Ask your child’s school about school-based mental health treatment options to support your child in their own environment.
• Learn more about KVC Missouri’s outpatient behavioral and mental health treatment services and residential treatment programs.

Here is a list of additional resources you can contact for help:

• Talk to the child’s primary care physician, your local community mental health center or a school counselor.
• Text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 support from the Crisis Text Line.
• Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 800-950-6264 or visit their website at nami.org
• Call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 988lifeline.org 

If you’re considering seeking treatment for a child or teen in your care, contact us to learn more and ask about how we can help!